The B.U.M.P.S Tour
March 22, 2010
After a couple of days without much riding I hit the open to Pahrump, NV. Pahrump is the closest place to Las Vegas where prostitution is legal, with the emphasis being on the word ‘legal’. I have come to understand that there is a lot of illegal stuff going on in Las Vegas.
After a quick 63 mile ride to Parhump, I got lost. And as I was looking at my maps on the side of the road an older gentleman stopped by to chat about the bike. He could have gone on all day doing that but I was on a mission. So I asked where the brothels were located and he told me that they were just a little further down the street where the blacktop turns to gravel. It seems he was a retired from the Sheriff’s office and had had lunch there many times.
So I drove on and came to the Chicken Ranch which I thought was an odd name for a brothel until I saw the t-shirts they had for sale. It was a picture of a chicken with an egg and written below it was. "Freshly Laid at the Chicken Ranch". Cute. Apparently this place has a lot of stuff from the original Chicken Ranch in Texas.
Right next to it was Sherri’s, which is pretty amazing looking place. It was all new looking and had a hotel and spa on the grounds. I took a tour of the brothel and it was pretty nice. There are all sorts of theme rooms from ones that blow bubbles out of the ceiling to S and M rooms to the one they are most proud of, The Budweiser Room. It is supposedly sponsored by Budweiser and Junior has been known to party there. Now he is partying with the National Guard which may be why he can no longer win a race. (To non NASCAR people; Dale Earnhardt has recently switched sponsorship from Bud to the National Guard and his driving career has been pretty dismal since.)
The young lady who gave me the tour also gave me some insight into how these places work. The ladies who work here have their own rooms that they pay rent on, but it is not much. They are confined to the premises for three weeks tours of duty and during this time they cannot leave not even to go over to the hotel. They get one four hour period per week where they can leave the place but they have to be escorted during that time. When they return to work after their break they are giving a health check and then it is back under lock down. They cannot discuss price unless it is in their rooms because it is considered solicitation if they do. They would have to drive to Las Vegas to do that out in the open like everyone else. And they split whatever they make with the house.
Then it was on to Crystal, NV which is a long way from no where else. There I found the Cherry Patch Ranch which was closed for remodeling. A little further down the road is the operating Cherry Patch Ranch, Madam Butterfly massage parlor, and Mables Whorehouse. While it has a lot of names I could only count it as one brothel.
I drove on to Lathrop Wells which is nothing more than a fuel stop. I got some gas and walked inside and had one of those déjà vu moments when I realized I had been in there two years ago after driving through Death Valley. I had come at it from a different direction this time so I did not recognize it. Out around back I also found Cherry Ranch II which was nothing more than a couple of trailers attached to a gas station.
I drove on to Beatty and visited Angel Ladies brothel just north of town. It was not very noteworthy other than having the shell of a twin engine crashed airplane out front. I have often wondered what happened to Sky King and now I know: He crashed his plane on the way to a brothel.
I had a burger at the Sourdough Saloon in Beatty and then headed back to Vegas. After cleaning up I went out to the see the ballet at BadaBing because being a ‘Sopranos’ fan I liked the name. Who would have thought that there would be strippers inside? I was shocked to find that there were.
I then went over to a Hard Rock cafe and had dinner. I found a guitar that supposedly belonged to Elvis so I am counting that as my Elvis sighting of the day. I left with my credit card this time. After 300 miles of riding and five brothels I was tired so I called it an early night.
I believe my brothel count is up to 27 now and I am running out of places to look. The rest of them are 150 miles north of here and I will leave those for the journey home.