Don’t Boil a Baby Goat in its Mother’s Milk.



I have an inquiring mind. I am always casting a light on things that are better off unexamined. Lately, I thought I would try to understand why different religions seem hell bent on killing each other.

There are 613 commandments handed down by God and number five or six, depending on who is counting, is ‘Thou shalt not kill.’ That is very easy for me to understand. It comes right before those that are all about not covering thy neighbor’s stuff.

I never could understand why it was my responsibility to not cover my neighbor’s wife. When I lived in Granite Bay, many years ago, my neighbors’ wives would put on their bikinis every afternoon in the summer, pour themselves a glass of wine, sit in the court and watch their young children play. There was no way I was going to cover them. I still get a crick in my neck thinking how willing I complied with the ‘thou shalt not cover’ commandment.

Okay, I got off subject a bit there. The point was to try to understand why the three main monotheistic religions have been trying to kill each other off, when all of them have the same list of thou shalt nots.

So, I read this book. Twice


I learned many things. The most obvious is that “Thou shalt not kill” has been changed to ‘Thou shalt not murder.” Cool. That gives a bit of wiggle room that will help us convince ourselves that we are not going to all burn in hell. I suppose if you kill someone for no personal gain then you are on well-oiled roller skates to the promise land. I call bullshit on that one. Dead is dead. No matter your intention, dead is dead.

I also learned that the three major religions have way more in common than they have differentiating them. They all trace their roots back to Abraham. They all believe in there being only one God. They all have a claim on Jerusalem being the center of the universe as far as religion goes. They all have some version of 613 commandments.

The difference seems to lie in those troublemakers who purport to know what God wants. Of course, there is Jesus, who is God’s son on earth. Then there is Mohammed, who is the only true prophet. The Jews think they are the chosen people so they of course have the righteous path. Somewhere along the way, they all thought it would be a good idea to kill off the other side just so there would be no dissenting view. The entire “Thou shalt not kill.’ thing got pushed aside.

Now here is what is odd: The Christians crusade against the Muslims; The Muslims do jihad against the Christians; and everybody takes a shot at the Jews. Then when things get a bit slow, the Protestants fight with the Catholics, the Shi’ites fight with the Sunnis and, still, everybody takes a shot at the Jews. I have come to believe that the entire “Thou shalt not kill/murder” thing is a bunch of poppycock.

I searched through the entire list of 613 commandments to see if I could find one, upon which we could all agree. I did. “Thou shalt not boil a baby goat in its mother’s milk.” I am sure that most of us could agree that boiling a baby goat is not a good way to fix it. (For my South Louisiana readers; Yes. If you put some Zatarains Crab and Crawfish boil in it, it would probably be okay.) Certainly boiling it in its mother’s milk is cruel enough to make me want to become a non-practicing vegetarian. Of the entire list of commandments, this is one that I am going to go to the grave with a lifetime of compliance.

Thank you for listening. I will now go back to thinking of those hot summer days when I did not cover my neighbor’s wife. I feel very pious thinking of how willingly I complied.

(It is ‘covet’, you moron.)

(WTF knows what ‘covet’ means.)


1 Comment

February 17, 2017 · 12:17 pm

One response to “Don’t Boil a Baby Goat in its Mother’s Milk.

  1. Barbara Jordan

    I am a little confused about they changed “do not kill: to “do not murder”. Who is “they” who changed it?


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